


we couldn't turn around (until we were upside down)

by avonleasangel



Series: I feel you close, although you're eight hours ahead [1]
Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bash gives him one, F/M, Gilbert really needs a hug, Grief/Mourning, Other, i snuck shirbert in there:))), the new episode had me freaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 22:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20767973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avonleasangel/pseuds/avonleasangel
Summary: Gilbert really needs to rant, about a lot of things.Where Gilbert gets the validation that he didn't know he needed.





	we couldn't turn around (until we were upside down)

**Author's Note:**

> so i think this series will be inspired by scenes from the new season
> 
> this one obviously is taken from the "take notice" scene from episode one and the implication of the scene where anne approaches gilbert after school.
> 
> the new episode killed me and brought me back to the life at the same time, moira is really serving us well

“You trying to strangle your book there, Blythe?” Bash hummed as he glanced over at the table, where a very perturbed Gilbert sat, immersed in medical journals and essays. 

The raven-haired boy had barely said a word to Bash or Mary since he had got home, his greeting had been laconic and he had immediately gone to the kitchen and delved into his schoolwork. Though his brown eyes were focused on the pages in front of him, Bash knew his gears were churning for a completely different reason. The tension in his brow only seemed to grow with each page he turned and the veins on his hands were more conspicuous than usual. Based on his observations of the last hour, Gilbert’s mind was far from the topic of cardiology. 

“What’s on your mind, Blythe?” Bash kept his tone light as he took a seat at the head of the table, feigning interest in his cup of coffee and the granules of sugar he stirred in. 

“An-Atherosclerosis, actually.” Gilbert closed the book and showed him the cover. A fierce pink now tinged his cheeks and neck. 

“That a new kind of science I don’t know about?” Bash reached a hand across the hand and comically angled the book towards him, as if it was a foreign language. 

Gilbert was not in the mood for his antics and promptly snatched the book back. “Bash, I’m really trying to study before I go to Carmondy on Saturday.” 

It was true, the older man had not known the teenager for long, when compared to the overall longevity of both of their lives, but Bash was confident in the fact that he had an understanding of Gilbert that very few people had. The boy was brilliant, unconditionally kind, and could befriend the most stubborn person in the room, all these characteristics were things that one could gather by simply looking at him. But in their time on the steamer, Bash had come to know the boy’s aspirations and what drove his incessant determination. 

Gilbert’s late bed-ridden father was the source of most of them, his illness giving ample time to study but had made it so John Blythe was Gilbert’s best friend, Bash later learned, and passed down his nondiscriminatory and seemingly radical beliefs to his son. But while his father had inspired so much good in him, much of Gilbert’s anxieties were rooted in having lost his father. The way his leg began to anxiously bounce whenever he sat for too long because Bash assumed he still was not accustomed to having the free time that he did. How his eyes never seemed to focus on any one particular thing when he entered into one of his apprehensive episodes.

So as Bash checked his mental list, the one that included the indicators that told him of his friend’s discomposed state, he gently reached for the book a second time. Needing something to do, Gilbert began picking at his nails but made his gaze focused on the table. 

The pair remained in silence for several minutes while Bash returned to his cup of coffee. Gilbert, a man of many talents, lacked the aptitude of being able to habitually express his emotions. Bash gave Gilbert time organize his thoughts but couldn’t help the panic that had begun to creep up on him. 

What if something was seriously wrong? Had he contracted whatever disease that had caused his father’s deterioration?

Bash was pulled from his concerns when Gilbert cleared his throat. “A-Anne and I kissed.” 

The older man was helpless as a large smile grew on his lips. “Atta way, Blythe, that’s great. I’m happy for you.” He had raised his arm in what was going to be a celebratory pat on the back but laid a forbearing hand on Gilbert’s shoulder instead, sensing that the kiss was not what was plaguing him. 

“I thought it was but I haven’t the slightest idea how Anne feels about it or what it means for us. Like do friends kiss normally? Is that a thing? Even if it was, I don’t want that with Anne at least I think I don’t.” 

Gilbert pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes and let out an exasperated breath but his voice had regained a surprising fervor when he began again. “Do you know what a “Take Notice” board is? I didn’t until Anne told me about it, which got my hopes up because I thought that maybe she reciprocated whatever it is that I feel, but then she mentioned Ruby. Again! I don’t get what her fascination with Ruby and I is all about when I hardly talk to her in or outside of class.”

“How do I properly explain to someone who has the ability to articulate everything so perfectly, how hard I have to grip my quill when I hear one of the comments Billy makes under his breath in class. I’ve broken three quills restraining myself from punching his lights out, Bash. What does that mean?” 

Bash stammered out an answer when he realized that Gilbert was actually looking for one at this pause in conversation. “I would say that means that you care for Anne a great deal.” 

“No, it’s more than that because the anger I feel when someone is disrespectful to you is different but the ferocity that I feel when someone bad mouths Anne consumes me to the point where I can’t focus on anything else. Which I still can’t understand that, out of all the words out there, people only want to use the ones that don’t pertain to Anne at all. Good or bad.” 

“Because she isn’t just pretty, her hair isn’t just auburn, and she’s more than smart. Anne’s ambiguity is like that of the most spectacular sunset. Her attributes hold the same beauty and significance of the reds, pinks and oranges that paint, but they do nothing to describe the splendor as a whole.” 

Gilbert exhaled shakily, “And I don’t know how to tell her any of that because as of late, I can barely breathe when I’m around her, Bash.” 

“Blythe, call me old school but couldn’t you tell her what you just told me?”

“It’s not that simple, Bash! Because that would be enough to initiate a courtship! We just became friends and after all that we went through to get to where we are, I’m not sure I want to risk that for something as volatile as love.” 

“Care to elaborate on that?” Bash worked his hand in slow circles as he felt the tension build up in Gilbert’s shoulders, and if he happened to coax a response out of him too? Well that would be a bonus. 

Gilbert opened his mouth to reply but quickly closed it and bit the inside of his cheek, Bash recognized the indicator. “I loved my siblings so much, Bash, and it wasn’t enough to heal their illnesses. So after Walter died and my dad got sick, I swore that I would love him enough for the family that he lost. And even as he got worse, my father would sound like a priest, going on about love and its importance and the power that it wields. I didn’t say anything then but I was angry in my silence because the Bible says that love can cure all wounds. If it can, why couldn’t mine heal my family?” 

The teenager’s body rattled with silent sobs as tears trickled down his freckled cheeks. Bash felt his chest constrict as he took in his companion’s pent up grief for a family he never got to mourn properly.

“I begged my father in the final hours of his life to stay with me but he didn’t, it’s not enough, Bash.” Gilbert muttered as he gripped Bash’s hand. “Anne deserves a love that is powerful enough to protect her from any and all troubles that the universe should throw her way. Mine can’t do that.” 

“I’m not sure what kind of a guy of your Jesus is, but I do know that you’re not him, Blythe, you’re human, same as me, which entails a certain set of limitations that we both have to get used to. Our love may not be able to heal broken bones or help the blind see, but it sure does make people feel good in spite of those things. Take me and Mary for instance, ya? People tend to make snap judgments about us, based solely on the fact that our skin is a little darker than theirs. Not you, Blythe. Your compassion and infatuation with helping others is wickedly strong and without it, maybe there wouldn’t be a me and Mary, or Delphine, at all.” 

“The house would quieter that’s for sure.” Gilbert sniffled, the smallest of grins had turned the corners of his mouth upward. 

A deep, hearty laugh fell from Bash’s lips as he ruffled Gilbert’s unruly raven curls into even more of a mess. “I’ll let that comment about my daughter slide considering the circumstances.” 

Gilbert shoved his hand away and reached for the book that Bash had previously taken from him, but Bash quickly moved out of his grasp. “Not so fast there, loverboy. What was this about a kiss?”


End file.
